Sunday, October 09, 2005
[ The world is filled with dumb guys ]
A little whining.
A little tear. Slowly rolling down your lil mask.
Makes me feel sick.
The way you acted. All "sweet, innocent and demure".
Fooled all the silly boys.
Makes em all followed you blindly.
Thinking that u are a little damsel in distress.
A princess that needs saving.
That needs protection from the "big bad world"
U don't fool me one bit.
I can see through you.
I can see through your deceptive manipulating self.
The way you flaunt yourself shamelessly.
Like the little slut u are.
Pretending to the world that u are still a sweet lil innocent girl.
All the boys fall for your little scheme.
But i dont. You don't and u cant fool me one bit.
Cos i see through u.
I swallow it all. Force myself to smile whenever i see you.
Even if that might make me a back stabbing bitch,
i don't give two hoots about it.
Anything to see how long you wanna play this game.
This game of deception.
Bring it on. I may be petite.
But i am stronger then u think.
Don't mess with me and the people i love.
Or you'll be sorry.
It doesnt matter to me how many people u know outside.
What matters now is who is able to see thru u.
FallenMaples stabbed you at 02:29 pm
Friday, June 24, 2005
It's funny how pain can help a person grow.
It's what makes us stronger.
It hurts and yet the hurt sometimes makes me feel better.
Cos it tells me that i'm still alive.
FallenMaples stabbed you at 04:04 am
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
H - helping out
A - all i can think of
T - trouble is just a phase
E - ending is just a beginning
Progress is just a mere conductor of unnecessary friction
i am screwed
maybe fated to have wonderful friends
it's nice to know u have blue pills to swallow
i only have vitamin pills
no one dies of vitamin overdose
i choose not to speak out so that u will stop
now i choose not to speak out so that i will stop
oh how heavy this heart feels for me to be feeling like this
but hey
i am ok
i ll choose to go easy
what good is a mouth if i don't say anything?
sew it shut then
what good is a mind if i do not think of anything
blow em away
i may not say much
but ....
yeah
i may not say much
Soulsyndrome stabbed you at 06:32 am
there's just one thing that i lack
a fully functional brain
and the intelligence of a donkey
there's one thing i need
a decaying pain
and the wound of the dead
there's one thing i want
a smaller confinement
cos i am at my smallest right now
no one left a light on
its ok..
as always
i'll let this eat me inside out
and turn me upside down(i love the feeling
of having a lump in my throat and a heart
that hurts so bad i wish i had a bypass)
i have only myself to thank for hurting
the person who loves me most
these tears
down
it's been 2 years since i shed any
it's Guilt worse than a drunk driver's
it's guilt worse than a murderer repented
all the knives thrown at you.
i'll let em come rushing back
i've got the patience of a chopping block
especially on my mentality
i love being mistaken
i love being pointed out
i love being the butt of every assumption
but hell hath no fury as a woman scorned
maybe it's time to change
hell hath no fury as a mistaken individual
no wait
i m not angry
i can't..
it's my fault anyway
so i deserve this
it's a pity
i have changed from
the perfect one to iron fisted tyrant
it's 5.19
why sleep?
i've got verbal pangs
and they came from the chest cavity
Soulsyndrome stabbed you at 06:21 am
Monday, June 20, 2005
I tear my heart open and sew myself shut.
The tears they fell
Cutting me up inside a little bit more.
The nights are long and endless.
Eyes wide open.
Staring into the dark void of emptyness.
Wondering why i am this way.
Desperately wanting to end it all.
It was close.
I almost had it in my grasp.
Just at the end of my fingertips.
I'm trembling inside.
But I long to embrace it.
But my body rejected the pills.
Those tiny little blue pills.
Mayhaps god doesn't want me yet.
Mayhaps it's not my time yet.
I groan and squeezed my eyes shut.
As i try not to think of tomorrow.
FallenMaples stabbed you at 02:01 am
Saturday, April 10, 2004
the sun beats down
against the pale dusty windows
as the lone wheelchair glimmers
spokes of sensitivity
the polished floor
the stale air
smells of a potent mixture
of sickness and ill health
of karma and untimely death
welcome to ward 64
a temporary bedside
apathy is the flavour of the week
drips, syringes, handiplasts...
whence it was depressing
now it's a duty that i cannot forego
dad,
i know it has been a painful experience
never a reason for you to give up
this is a fight for your health
it may have somewhat
reduced that giant of a man
to a crouched figure in pain
i will still love and care for you
as you have cared for me before
my pledge of allegiance holds steadfast to you
be strong
life shall carry on
Soulsyndrome stabbed you at 02:26 pm
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
I wanna run away
far away from the crowd.
There's a shadow blocking my eyes
I cant see the sun
Things are a lil darker then it normally was
I wanna take a trip down to Thailand.
be carefree for a while
Leave my problems and confusion behind
Hidden and locked away in a box
And buried it in the yard
Deep down under the earth
I cant even think properly
My usage of vocabulary
My sentences filled with grammatical errors
They ick me.
I cant even write poetry without it even sucking.
I hate my self for being pathetic
I hate my job
Life sometimes can suck so much.
i know there's ppl other there who's life is so much suckier then me...
Let me vent my childish lil angst here..
Thanks Soulsyndrome.
Hugx
Deepest apologizes.I have no idea what i am typing.
Just so messed up inside
random mindless ramblings. pardon me while i burst into flames and burn
FallenMaples stabbed you at 08:02 pm
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Weep now or never more!
See! On yon drear and rigid bier low lies thy love,
Lenore! Come! Let the brutel rite be read
-The funeral song to be sung!
-An anthem for the queenliest dead that ever died so young
- A dirge for her that doublr dead un that she died so young.
- Edgar Allan Poe,
"Lenore"(1831)
FallenMaples stabbed you at 08:11 pm
Thursday, March 11, 2004
The new quote for the day
"a depository none so worthy than a mish mash of emotive intellectual disability"
FallenMaples stabbed you at 02:01 pm
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
the result of a poetry jam
the hourglass counts the days
when all i can do is to jst look at them pass
i struggled to breath. . .
along with the pure agony of merely being alive
peering out of my bedroom window
confining myself to the journey downwards
how would it feel if i left
how would it feel to see my blood in my eye
deep in the dark mind of the unseen one
i know he'll come for me
he'll wrap me in his arms as i fell
only he can save my soul
only he can bring me release
together in unsound mind
we called each other's names
holding each other's hearts
sharing each other's blame
falling down to the never ending darkness
where a hand seems to beckon
welcoming us into its cold embrace
i scream and shout for your touch
only to be laughed at from a distant giggle
how do i break through this barrier
where the emptiness enfolds thy soul
blinding my eyes . . numbing my touch
i seek for the spirits of yesteryear
i seek for their help for me to unfold
i look up
it's all black
Soulsyndrome stabbed you at 12:45 pm
